MOOP!

I haven't updated in five days. Here are some things:

*Austin came and visited from Friday evening to Monday early afternoon. It was a very nice visit --he walked over, instead of taking the T, and given how close we are and were even the week before, probably neither of us have changed our risk profiles *that* much? But it was lovely to have him around for a bit, especially since we don't know when that will happen again, not really.

*Schools have been closed until May 4th, at least. I have a meeting with my department head tomorrow afternoon (immediately after she has a meeting with admin) so I'll know more about the Longterm Distance Learning Plan then. We are still only giving enrichment work, which means my students are largely not doing _anything_ offered up. I have some thoughts of things I might try, including maybe reading chapters of The Number Devil as a YouTube stream, if I can figure out how that works. (Probably I should email the author and find out if there are copyright issues with that idea --maybe only if I archive the streams after?)

*I am still alive, still eating multiple good meals a day, still showering every day (or every other sometimes, but that's totally normal for me). I missed my meds for about a week straight, just because I kept not remember to take them until it was too late in the day --I took them today and hopefully that will get me back on track. Physically, I'm fine.

*I finally started a calendar, after realizing that there are Too Many Good Things happening online with the livestreams and whatnot. Tomorrow is the Anna and the Apocalypse tweet-along, (as well as my meeting and my first attempt at an open office hours for my students), then Friday we're gonna try and have a family zoom meet-up, and Sunday is a s00j concert. Every Wednesday for the next five weeks is one of Patty's online archeology classes, about half of which sound SUPER INTERESTING and the rest of which merely sound interesting, and I'll maybe be able to go except that...

*Wednesday night is also the night the bellringers have been getting together for group social. Last week I failed to have a date with mek (we just...didn't manage to sync and really need to try again) instead, and this week I missed about half of the fun due to attending the Exec meeting and talking about Srs Future Stuff instead. But it was really nice to see everyone's faces --there were at least fifteen ringers represented-- and get like...tours of Michael's new apartment and to see Mira and James's cat and stuff like that.

*I've been _really_ laggy ever since Austin left. I was doing SO WELL with the cards, and then I was too busy hanging out with him to focus on them (I still _did_ stuff --my taskmaster projects, my words, lots of good food and hanging out outside!) and now I've completely lost track of them. Maybe tonight before I go to bed I'll choose a set? I don't know. I suspect I'm slowly moving towards a more stringent schedule, even though those usually don't work for me very long or well. I like the generalness of the cards!

*But yeah, Monday I watched nearly an entire season of British Bakeshow, and then yesterday and today both had _long_ stretches of playing _lots_ of dumb phone games. Probably I am not allowed to play dumb phone games tomorrow.

*I haven't been outside since Monday, and that's probably bad. I'm not very good at making my brain just...go be outside (especially when the weather's not particularly encouraging), I really need a destination in mind in order to leave the house. I should try and get back into PokeGo, that will help.

*The inbox zero project is about the only thing that's been making progress. I'm down to 1369 unread emails in my inbox, which is...staggeringly low, for me. There is hope! There is a light at the end of the tunnel! Then I can start interacting with the 15,000 emails that are just...in my inbox and need archiving or whatever. Sigh?

(The read-but-still-in-the-inbox emails date as far back as...well there's only one from 2007, that's a start anyways. The vast majority are LJ -not DW- comment notifications of some sort or another.)

*I keep thinking I want to do something like "Screenfree Sundays" or whatever, but I absolutely lack the conviction, and also I don't actually want to do that on a Sunday, probably. Maybe I'll trial run it this Sunday, with the exception of the s00j concert, oh bother. There're just Too Many Good Things going on, despite the apocalypse.

*Something great is going to happen tomorrow.

~Sor
MOOP!

I still have under 600 unread emails, but it was a close thing. I got an email from my friend nagging me about a thing I need nagging on (this is a good thing) but it made me freak out and want to avoid my entire email inbox because like...I cannot get my daily for that unless I make sure to do all my emails for the day and soooo.

But I've recently come back and the last two days I've at least looked at everything. Which is good.

I still don't have health insurance (I found out a week ago that it's been terminated). I really need to work on going through mail and calling mass health and figuring out why it was turned off and how I turn it on again, but boyyyy that is just...not...happening right now. Maybe having mek around will make it easier, and maybe I will just not have health insurance or meds until mid-April, because that's an awesome thing for me innit?

Diiiiid I mention I have a mek? I am pretty pleased I have a mek. It was a sudden surprise of "so, I can actually visit you in like three weeks if that works for you" thing, and I said yes and so he rode a train cross country to come see me, look, I'm not saying my boyfriends are better than yours but have any of yours hung out on a train for four days just to bring you a dead spider in a snow globe I think NOT!

Highland Ball stuff is continuing apace. I'm actually in a weird gentle space where I'm a lot less behind on everything and feel a lot less stressed about it all. Really, right now I'm a lot less anxious and a lot more depressed, and so that's pretty good, except for the part where I'm a lot more depressed. I'm working on it, they lied.

On the plus side, I did clear off most of my bed. Granted, this was a lot of pileating, but it was a noble attempt.

Wheeeee, I finished my words before mek came back from brushing his teef! Gold star for me!

((I know this entry is crap and disconnected, but I haven't written anything in here for over two weeks.))

How's you?

~Sor
MOOP!

Day two among the Californians. I am integrating myself into their ways. I have been learning how to operate the button-machine, to playact characters. This appears to be some sort of marker of friendship, despite the occasional swearing, or shooting each other to death. Later I will make dinner for the tall one, to further develop our trust-bond.

(The tall one is intrigued as I write this. I think they might be able to communicate, but only in a snarky fashion. More investigation required.)

The long-haired one has left the domicile for the time being. I suspect he is foraging for "stuff".

The skittish ones continue to not trust me, despite the encouragement of the tall one. I shall bribe them with bits of food later, or more likely leave them the hell alone.

The long one has been quiet, though I heard word last night about it eating a member of the enemy. The green one has been decidedly not quiet, though has not been attempting to declare its dominance over me, like the last time I travelled to this wild place.

Now I am requested to use my typing machine to create a form of communication known as "Lambchop fanfiction". Oh these strange Californians! Will I ever truly understand their ways?

~Sor
MOOP!

((Postscript: Yes, I'm in California visiting mek. I meant to mention at some point, but the last week was sortof intense and terrible and distracting. So yeah. I'm here a bunch of days.))

I am still in California. Or, if I never bothered to mention it properly, I am in California!

Spending all my time with someone creative in the same ways in which I am creative has been really good for me. I am still Woefully Unemployed (TM), but I've also drawn a couple things, and written a couple things, and best of all, three days ago, the clone looks up at me from our Left 4 Dead game and says "wanna write a collaborative story about a zombie apocalypse?"

So that's been going very well, and I've written like 4500 words of characters I haven't used in a while fighting zombies. Which is pretty damn great.

We've also done some cooking experiments (which resulted in bacon-wrapped potato bites!) and playing way too much Left 4 Dead (<3333!) and spending too much time on Tumblr and not enough time watching Doctor Who, but whatever, honestly. Theoretically, I can watch that on my own. Keeping up with the reblogs is tres important, zohmgar. :P

Mek might've gotten me hooked on Fallen London, or at least starting to be hooked on Fallen London. I am currently more frustrated than pleased by the throttling of actions. I appreciate that they're keeping me from wasting all my time on there, but man, I have been running out of actions quickly and that's annoying, especially when I'm still very badly in explore mode and trying to figure out the game. We'll see if it sticks at all.

I miss Boston. I miss dancing. I might claim to miss being too cold, but judging by how I actually respond to temperature, it's a dirty lie. But I'm happy I'm here because...there's a reason I call him clone faster than boyfriend. Mek gets me like no one else. The conversations we have tend to be long, meandering, weird and utterly fabulous. When's the last time you jumped from Neil Poon Handler to Oglaf?

The hope of course is that I'll go home and be rejuvenated, ready to try again being a real adult. We'll see if it works at all. I am in turns optimistic towards how lovelyinteresting this summer could be (Pinewoods in July, and Alys might visit me) and shaking with fear at the lack of funds and lack of impact I am having on the world.

In the meantime though, I'm going to clutch at this creative paradise while it is still accessible to me. Lying in bed all day in my underwear writing might not sound to you like such a beast, but oh, am I satisfied.

Even if it is too damn hot.

~Sor
MOOP!

Original Tags: musings, qlife, cloneness, snowtown, writing

It has been brought to my attention that I am apparently a Mary-Sue.

I am...boggled, at this. Discombobulated, even. I have, in fact, found at least one dumb.

I can't help but admit that mek and Jake (and apparently Swing)'s reasoning is at least a little sound. I myself I have been confused on several occasions by the fact that everyone is into me, or at least likes me very much. I have very long and very spectacular hair. While it's not exactly a well-known fact, I do align myself with the identity of "princess". My name is Katarina for goodness sakes, which is at least a little bit exotic and flowery enough to pass as Mary-Sue.

(Really, it's that first one that's the most damning. People like me for reasons I have attempted but never really succeeded in discerning. Why do you all like me? Is it because The Author is writing you all that way?! I find that both depressing and somewhat comforting, because at least it means you don't all like me for me, an idea I find frankly terrifying. I am nowhere near as awesome as you lot seem to think I am.)

Discuss.

~Sor
MOOP!

Original Tags: amused, that-other-site-i've-got, why-am-i-so-awesome

Today is awesome!

Okay, I didn't get out of bed until like half an hour ago, which is actually somewhat annoying --I don't like it when I start drifting west that badly, and knowing me, unless I come up with something spectacular to do at nine thirty some morning, it's not going to stop.

That's okay though, because today is awesome.

See, today is awesome because yesterday I made not one, but TWO new friends based on people who just wandered through and left comments, which is awesome, and the one who got me at four thirty in the morning and therefore got a comment that was ...well in all honest it was probably only twice and not four times as babbly, doesn't seem to have been spooked off forever, meaning I have successfully made an internet friend and therefore rule.

(well, okay, the other one isn't technically an internet friend yet, but I am following his blog)

AND EVEN BETTER THAN NEW INTERNET FRIENDS (sorry guys), Bethany, (who belongs in Cambridge so hard because she's compatible awesome with round there) is currently out in the land of not very much internet, but she made a post, and I commented, and she e-mailed her reply!! Meaning I have like...an actual e-mail from an actual person¹, with words and stuff that *I* can reply to.

This doesn't happen very often and it makes me happy --practically receiving-letters-happy, which if I had a consistent address, I could possibly manage.

So, I'm in a pretty damn good mood. I'm gonna go reply to Bethany, and give you lot some interesting questions. And by interesting, I probably mean *very* silly. YAY!!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Actually, Brenton's pretty good at sending drabbles, and Mek has always been one of the people who actually e-mails me the most, so e-mails just to me are not a rarity. But (probably in part because I'm shite at replying to them) I don't get real e-mails with lots of words very often.

This is further Balticon con-reporting. Also, if you haven't bothered to click on the cut from my last entry, it's probably worth it. Slutty but Sweet and all that.

Part One

( Tweets are still in italics )

And this last tweet has nothing to do with Balticon at all:

23 days. Twenty three days, two hours five minutes. Oh my god. This is suddenly actually Real.

It is. It is absolutely positively real. And it is also 21 days 23 hours and 51 minutes.

~Sor
MOOP!

Today is Wednesday.

Tonight is Wednesday night. My nefarious plans for tonight involve visiting jere7my and getting one last round of bad movies in before I go home for the summer.

Tomorrow is Thursday. I will spend the day doing things, at least one of which I hope to be studying for my Italian final. I will spend the night doing contra over at the Concord Scout House --come say goodbye!

The day after that is Friday. I have a final from ten to noon, and then will hopefully spend much of the rest of the day packing.

Saturday, no finals, more packing. Saturday afternoon and evening I am going over to the Belmhouse to babysit and hang out. Eventually I will detangle from there, go back on campus, and collect all members of the Lesley University Chaos Club who want to go see Rocky Horror.

Get home at late o clock, go sleep somewhere. Sunday morning, collect people to go get "breakfast" (ideally at noon or one) at Mr. Crepes. Steal Ria and/or Maddie on secret missions that I may or may not have alluded to last post.

After secret mission, study for maths. Pack more.

Monday, take maths final. Pack. Pack a lot. Pack like an *absolutely* crazy person, and as stressedly as I can possibly manage. Hopefully finish packing before it's time for dance.

Monday night, go dancing at Springstep for the last time for four months. Try not to think about it too hard, as it might make me cry. Dance with dance-Andrea, since I promised her a dance, dance with...other people. Get in a Last Waltz¹ with Magus that'll have to last me most of a summer. Hopefully stop being such a gloomcookie all the time.

Tuesday morning, go to my Teacherfinal, which consists of "showing up". (Or, you know, have flu like symptoms and stay home in order to better achieve the rest of the day.) Say goodbye to Evan, and school-Andrea and Erin and whoever else is around. Go back to Dock 18, say goodbye to the roomies. Cry, because, well, it's *me*.

Give mom a hug and toss things into Catbus². Stop by Belmhouse, thank them roughly a million times for letting me leave things there over the summer. Drive to Maryland.

Arrive in Maryland. Give Shan a noogie and Alys a hug. Curl up in my own bed, in my own room, with a door that closes. Try very very hard not to think about how long four months is, really.

Wednesday.

Visit Veronica. See if I still have a job. Be back in Maryland.

Sigh.

((And I mean there's good in there -Balticon, Tho, Origins, Day Camp, visiting mek, Otakon, Oella --not to mention all the Maryland people I love and adore. But seriously. Sigh.))

~Sor
MOOP!

1: There's symbolism to the Last Waltz, youknow? No, not always or anything, but your traditional Last Waltz, you do it with your sweetie (well, one of them. We're ignoring the polydrama for the purposes of this). Out of all of dancing, that's the one that really matters --a good partner, and the world becomes Just Right.

I wonder who my final waltz was with at NEFFA last year. I know for this year, and while I had a last waltz at Dance Flurry, the role of the Last Waltz was filled by the Penultimate Waltz.

Andumyeah. Stuff. LOOK A DISTRACTION, BYE!

2: Mom's van. Galileo was the old one, and we haven't changed plates, but the minivan I do most of my driving in is called Catbus.

THOUGHTS WHILE PACKING:

1548:

Man, my folder of worship is getting *awesomely* full. One Comedity print, original art by Randy Milholland, Randall Munroe, and Jeph Jacques, a random commision of a dinosaur I bought at AnimeBoston, Hiro's milk mustache ad, the picture of me that Dominik used as a print for his portfolio, and my still alive index cards.

And that's not counting the Maryland folder of worship which contains an obscene amount of KattersArt, and my original sluggy art.

(For reference, the folder of worship is basically full of everything that goes on the wall of worship. So, not real posters, but Other Cool Things. I should put the ST article I ripped out of a magazine in there too.)


1557: Dude, that's James Bond? What the hell is James Bond music doing in my iTun...ohyeah. Thanks Talia!

1636: Unrelatedly to anything (I'm fine today, just a little stressed out) I find it really interesting that, one of the things I do when I'm trying really hard not to start crying in public, is to begin seeing how much of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy I can recite.

Granted, this somehow backfires as I originally began to learn hitchhikers as a self-masochistic way to illustrate the 2718.89 miles between me and my clone, and if I think too hard about that I'll be depressed, but still, just as a "shit shit I need to distract myself from everything in real life" it works like a charm.

1925: ...Ohyeah, I was working on this. Well, I mean, Ria was all "doof?" and dhs was all "I'll bribe you to come to Diesel with the offer of giving back your clothes" and so I went and got dinner with Ria and Mando (who recently dyed his hair BLUE and so now looks not unlike a character of mine) and then went to Diesel where I stayed for like...an hour or something. On the wicked plus side, I was finally properly/formally introduced to sunspiral, which is exciting. *adds him as a friend*

Now all I need to do is properly meet Cthulia and I'll be able to officially consider myself a Boston based fen.

2137: Did I really just spend the last two hours reorganizing my friends lists, again? Fuck. Me.

2224: You know what I want to know? I want to know how long it would've taken me to meet and become friends with Janny without the sluggy.net link. I think the only other person on my friends list who I could say pretty confidentally that I would meet without however I met them having happened is dan4th. And maybe very vaguely possibly Magus, but only insomuch I would've started to meet him at Balticon '06 rather than Origins '04

I'm attempting to clean out my gmail inbox, ie, archiving everything I'm done with. I had 1209 messages from 2008 sitting in my inbox waiting to be archived and about 4500 overall, I am *hilariously* bad at this, and not just because of the several hundred comment threads of doom I'm ignoring with mek.

OH! And I might be going to GenCon this year!! Mom's going, and if I can get the time off from wherever I will be working, there was an implication of me being able to booth babe for Joan. :D!

2237: So, something Tristan asked me right when we found out we were both virgos¹ was "So what's your neurosis?" I can't remember exactly what I answered --almost certainly my default compulsion, the fact that I clean my glasses overly often, and every single time I ever get into a conversation about OCD or neuroses. *speaking of which, cleans 'em now. Sigh*

But I think my current big one is the neck thing. I hate hate HATE having my neck touched, it freaks me out. Occasionally, I'll just freak out about the fact that I have a neck for no good damn reason which pisses me off, especially when I get the "ohgodohgod, need to have nothing near my neck, RIGHT NOW" Necklaces and collars I can take off. T-shirts are harder. Skin is impossible.

I was idly thinking about this, and about the fact that, when doing the cuddling/petting/caressing fan situation that I seem to find myself in a lot, if someone gets their hands too close to my neck, I will invariably move their hands down.

At some point, I am going to inadvertently move their hands down to far and accidentally cause someone to grope me. Stupid fucking neuroses.

2301: Oh, bitches!! So, I'm looking at my class schedule, and the creative writing class I really wanted to take because hey --Sorcy likes creative writing!-- takes place on Thursdays. From 6:45 to 9:15 PM.

Yeah, when is Concord based contra again? What's that? Exactly that time? What the fuck Belanie. What the fuck.

(So now I have to decide if I'm going to try and find another class to take instead or if I'm just going to not start doing contra up here until next January --I suspect one of the deciding factors in which I choose will be how much contra I get in over the summer.

Still though. Bitches.

0019: QUOTE OF THE DAY:

JoshZed:
this is more of the strong evidence that I'm really a 1 on the Kinsey scale
or close to it
I mean, if Randall doesn't do it for me, who will?

(Good lord, has the concept of sexing up Randall Munroe become a *theme* in my livejournal? That's either terrifying or awesome.)

Also, I am amused that I started this as 'thoughts while packing' and haven't actually packed anything in seven hours or so.

0101:

NEW Quote of the Day!

"Do I want to know why you are interested in my lovelife?"
"Because human interactions of all sort fascinate me."
"Any sort of interaction is fascinating if it involves cherry-flavored lube!"
[Immediate follow-up comment] "...........I did not just type that.........."

0112:

OHMYGOD.

Does the world love me? I don't actually know. But the world might!

But...not being at movie night.

But Satanic motherfucking Mechanics!

Ohhhh, I should not be forced to have decisions like this...

0222: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Sor? Fuck you. Go do your paper. Like...now. Just because you know damn well you're not going to be sleeping tonight is no reason to not get the paper done early.

P.S: What is your plan, to sleep on the floor or something eventually? You're incredibly fucking stupid, I hope you're aware of that. Also, a week of sleep-dep? What makes you think you'll even be able to potentially *begin* to make it to Rocky? Yeah, that's what I thought. Tell your terminal optimism to fuck off.

Allfornow

~Sor
MOOP!

1: heh, I almost wrote that as 'virgins'. Oops.

I would just like to go ahead and say that I have the single greatest clone in the history of clones. Srsly guys. The invention of the FATSYTSIAGM* was possibly the best thing she ever came up with.

You may now return to whatever it was you were doing.

~Sor
MOOP!

*Further Attempts To Send You To School In A Good Mood -- basically, it was a quick e-mail with pictures she found on dA or drew for me, or poetry, or whatever that she sent me after I had gone to bed --when I woke up in the morning, I would find it and start the day in an exceptionally good mood.